


a cloud over head

by 4taro



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire | Pokemon Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire Versions
Genre: Denial, Gen, Nightmares, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 11:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20227285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4taro/pseuds/4taro
Summary: there's something haunting haruka's dreams at night, and she doesn't believe that steven figured out the monster under her bed.





	a cloud over head

**Author's Note:**

> a drabble for something roleplay-related, regarding an arc in haruka/may where she has to deal with the fact that she's always been stressed out about saving everyone. 
> 
> steven tries to help her realize this, but she can't accept it out of her own pride and embarrassment.

_ god, help me, _

_ for i’ve fallen into the habit _

_ of always playing the savior._

* * *

she wakes up with her eyes wide and her heart beating faster than a manectric can _ run. _sitting up in bed, a quick glance around the room assured her that she had broke free from the nightmares that plagued her sleep only moments before. haruka lets out a relieved sigh as her head falls backwards onto her pillow, staring up at the ceiling for a few moments in peace.

and then the tears come welling up.

before she knew it, the girl was gasping for air as she sobbed with no end in sight, even when she was safe and sound in her comfy bed. the vision of the dark abyss of space and the mess of stars scattered around the darkness were ever present in her mind as she slowly remembers the terror that had woken her up from her sleep. with teary eyes, haruka rolls over to frantically grab her pokénav while ignoring the alarm clock next to it that said “3:05” in bright red numbers. a finger quickly scrolls through her contacts before clicking one and pressing the _ call _ symbol.

it rings once. then twice. haruka sniffles as she waits, the room quiet with the exception of the ring of the pokénav. _ please pick up, please pick up, please— _

_ “hello?” _ a sleepy and tired voice picks up the call, the sound of papers quietly shuffling around could be heard from the other line. _ “haruka? it’s three am, why—” _the voice is cut off by haruka’s own loud bawls and sniffles, before she can’t hear anything else coming from the pokénav.

in between breaths and weeps, the girl struggles to speak, “i-i’m sorry for calling s-so late, steven, i just…” haruka takes a moment to wipe her nose before talking once more, “have you… ever thought how it would feel to fall from space?”

she could hear his confused _ ‘hm?’ _ a moment before he lets out a sigh. not an exhausted, disappointed one— a sigh let out from worry for her. _ “you had another nightmare, didn't you,” _ he puts two and two together. _ “haruka, are you alright? do you want me to fly to littleroot or—” _

“you didn’t answer my question,” she interrupts him. another sigh; it’s the exhausted one this time.

_ “no, i haven’t.” _

“good. you shouldn’t. it’s scary.”

_ “brendan and i have told you, you should really see someone about these nightmares you’ve been having,” _ he tells her, advising her just like he always has, _ “it’s not good for your health and all, physical or mental.” _

“what the hell would a therapist say to someone who’s fucking _ saved the world? _ twice! how could they— how could _ anyone _ know how it felt to—” silence falls between them as haruka succumbs to her tears once more. the former champion couldn’t take it, couldn’t handle the constant stream of nightmares that interrupted her sleep more and more as time went on. at a whisper, she lets out another _ “i’m sorry” _to him. there’s no reply. she takes it as a cue to keep talking.

“i dreamt that i fell off of rayquaza while we were going into space,” she said. “i fell all the way down to earth and i— i _ died, _ and rayquaza didn’t destroy the meteor and there wasn’t any time left for you to figure out a new solution and you, brendan, dad, _ everyone_… they…” her voice trails off, as if her tears threaten to fall again should she continued.

steven does the job for her. _ “died, you mean.” _

“...yeah.”

_ “haruka, take a look around the room you’re in.” _

she does so, taking in the sight of the dark bedroom for a moment before humming to signal that she did. “okay, so what?”

_ “you can hear my voice, right?” _

“of course i can.”

_ “that means everything’s well, may.” _ haruka takes in a sharp breath at the sudden use of her nickname— though she didn’t mind it, it was almost always only used by her parents and close relatives. _ “are you okay?” _steven asks from the other side of the line when she doesn’t respond.

she nods, though he could not see her. “...yeah.”

_ “i know that no one else— not even i— can relate to what you went through,” _ he tells her, _ “that’s something very unique and admirable about you, haruka. i would call you a role model of mine for what you’ve done for the world.” _

now she _ has _ to laugh. a stifled snicker escapes her lips, muffled by the blanket that covered her for warmth. “_me?_” haruka scoffs and shakes her head, “your _ role model? _ you know that i’ve looked up to you since like… _ forever_, right, steven?”

there’s rustling from his side. she interprets it as a nod. haruka’s mouth opens to speak once more before she’s cut off by steven— _ “i think you believe that you have to save everyone.” _

“what do you mean?”

_ “you’re scared that you are going to fail people.” _

silence overcomes the space between the two trainers for the second time. there are no sobs, no crying to be heard from her; they could only faintly hear the other breathe as haruka finds herself staring at the ceiling again. there’s not a _ single _shuffling noise that she hears from the other side of the line— no signing of papers, no chair rolling and squeaking, no electronic cry from a beldum that he somehow always had around.

she couldn’t be afraid. that’s not how she worked, that’s not how _ any _ of it all worked. she was the _ former _ champion, she saved the world _ twice, _ she’s the lorekeeper successor… being _ afraid _ wasn’t apart of her job title. (even if the job wasn’t something she exactly applied to.) haruka had to keep going, to always be vigilant about any upcoming possible threats, to make sure everyone’s _ content. _ steven was wrong _ this time, _ his hard-as-diamond resolve had _ failed _him.

she breaks the deafening silence with a laugh. it’s loud, confident, and disbelieving.

“you’re ridiculous,” the girl tells her friend with one last laugh, “when’d you pick up a book of jokes? you should’ve told me _ sooner…” _

she can hear his pen fall onto his desk with a sharp _ clang. “i’m not joking around, haruka.” _ the tone of his voice was one that was rare and _ never _ pointed at her: annoyance. _ “these nightmares won’t end their torment if you don’t confront the problem that’s causing them. you have to—” _

“i’m not some _ kid _ that you can boss around anymore, steven. i can have my own beliefs and ideals now and in _ this moment, _ i believe that you are _ wrong._” her tongue was as sharp as a knife, before switching to a cheery demeanor for _ two seconds, _“now, good night, steven.”

haruka’s finger hovers over the _ hang up _ button, ignoring his pleads of _ “no, please hear me out may, don’t hang up” _ as she finally ends the call. her pokénav is tossed to the end of her bed before turns over to get comfy enough to sleep once more. the buzzes and rings emitted from her pokénav are left alone as she falls asleep, ignorant and in _denial_ of everything that had occurred that night.

ignorance was bliss, after all.


End file.
